Who is AhnyaLi? What is AhnyaLi? Perhaps, the reading of this will give us a glimpse…
I’m realizing AhnyaLi’s emergence has been in process since a transcendent experience at Casa Dom Inacio in the summer, 2017. (Some of y’all may remember, and—if you want your memory refreshed, post it in the comments ; >) It’s been a journey and continues to be with this particular piece–incoming AhnyaLi–beginning at the end of April, 2021, in a kundalini breath and meditation workshop. Following the guidance of the teacher, I breathed a balloon of felt pressure into each cervical vertebra while rolling the neck from chin resting on chest to upright…and then tipping the nose upward with an isometric contraction against all of the “air pressure” breathed into the vertebrae. In the full contraction pose (nose tilted up as high as possible,) I experienced an intense pain at the occiput and a blinding light that lasted less than a minute. Followed by dizziness and some nausea. Feeling the neck afterward, the tissue was swollen and inflamed. But, even more importantly—and, imho, a small miracle–the natural curve of the cervical vertebrae reasserted itself… a curve missing since the TBI during a head-on car collision in in 1983. I celebrated the return of an opening flow in the channel… not fully realizing the extent of what that meant…
You know that thing…or person… or habit… the one that always triggers a reaction or takes you down a wormhole into past wounds and traumas… let it go. Seriously. These patterns–these same ol, same ol patterns–are a type of energetic parasite, siphoning away the life force and vitality of your essence.
It doesn’t matter how many health professionals we consult or how careful we are about what we eat and drink or how much we exercise or how good the medical cannabis is… if we continue to let our life force be drained by emotional reactivity and addictive coping habits.
Here I am! Been out in the wilderness finding my way back to Life for five months now. Many indigenous cultures send their people out into the wild to survive or die as a spiritual practice. The win, if they survive, is often a shift into a more expanded consciousness. My tribe–composed of many multi-dimensional and elemental forms of life like dragons and faeries–follows the same practice, apparently…
The path into this wilderness quest was determined twenty five years ago in Egypt when I chose to drink the “local” water offered to me by our taxi driver. Water infected with a parasite called schistosoma mansoni. One might say, indeed, I actually walked out into the quest that day… and just didn’t recognize the path I chose until twenty five years later 😛 Continue reading “Waving From The Wilderness”
It’s been a few months since I put fingers to keyboard in the hope of communicating something fresh–something to inspire and activate your sense of wonder and wellbeing. I just reread my last article (Emerging Awakened) and–it’s true–I come new and “naked” and open. So, tell me what you want.
I am listening. These days, that’s most of what I “do.” I listen. To thoughts, to words, to the sound of silence, to the brilliance of others… And–in the listening–somewhere in the vastness that is MIND, dots connect into lines that become answers and understanding. From both directions. And the shapes–or blocks of thought and feeling–that emerge are woven into the weft of All I Am.
What day is it? I think I may have lost track 😛 Wednesday morning, I went in for another spiritual intervention and spent the next twenty four hours in a “floaty” trance-like state. In between spaces where there was no thought, I had a couple of very interesting experiences.
First, I met my “little Bee” as she calls herself…she is part of me. She is teensy and precocious and very faery-like. Undertones in interactions “hurt” her, and she often doesn’t feel safe in this world. She took me through a series of interactions and showed me what it would have looked like if I had taken care of her and “spoken up” to clear the field of energetic undertones during different events in my life. With each acknowledgement on my part, I felt a wave of light, pulsing… energy stream through my body…
2014 has been a year of many endings for relationships in my life–some that were easy to acknowledge as no longer aligned with how I Am and am becoming and some that broke my heart even as I knew I had to let go. Later in the spiritual intervention process, this series of relationships cruised through my awareness–one right after the next. With each person, I cleared the field using ho’oponopono (see: Ho’oponopono Made Simple) and found the point of gratitude for that person. At the end of the “parade of people departed,” I heard a voice in mind say, “Be the narrator.” Continue reading “Another Day, Another Spiritual Intervention–John of God”
I found her in the closet. Wedged back into the corner, knees pulled against her chest, she hid her eyes behind small hands. Hoping, perhaps, that I would not see her if she could not see me. It was an old closet–dusty and filled with long forgotten things stored for long forgotten reasons.
There she was.
I clambered over and around boxes to get to her. I squeezed into the small space beside her and gathered her into my arms, holding her head close to my beating heart. “I found you,” I whispered.
“I think my heart is broken,” she mumbled into my sweater, “It hurts.”
I rocked her gently. “It’s ok,” I soothed, “I found you. I’m here. It’s ok.”
For a timeless long time, we sat together rocking. Then, she turned her big, sad eyes to mine, “Am I safe now?”
And I answered, “We’ll stay here–together–until you know you are.”
I don’t know where to start. I’m not sure where the beginning is. We change by increments until–at some point–change changes us…and we are transformed. And transformation no longer recognizes the path of its creation. Is that what happened to me?
Shedding Skins. That’s what I thought I was doing. I thought, like a snake, I was simply outgrowing my skin…sloughing it away through different stages of my life so that new skin could emerge. As a child, I watched garden snakes lie quietly as their bodies made small, rippling motions that pushed the old skin away. I wondered if it was painful (I think it was.) And I was mesmerized by the brilliance of their new, fresh scales emerging. I watched them slither away when done, and I collected the discarded skins…I was fascinated by shedding skins! Continue reading “Shedding Skins–Awakening”
It’s a natural impulse to share what we learn. The inspired excitement of a new insight expands to connect–to reach out and teach. Like the effervescence of boiling water, new understanding bubbles and rises and pops and transforms. If we could see the energy that comes through us in the moment of a new realization, I believe we would see the shifts like steam rising from the roiling water, mingling with the steam of each other’s new awareness.
If we could see this, would it impact how we communicate? Would we be less focused on the sharing of our own wisdom and more interested in absorbing the wisdom of those around us? Would our focus shift more to experiencing the resonance between our insights and less on the wisdom of our personal insight? Continue reading “Teach By Example–Awakening”
I used to say it was love. I used to say love was the end all of all emotions…which is not to say that I knew what love was. Indeed, even today I hear the word love and I struggle to grasp the full intention of its meaning. God is Love–I hear that often…and wonder: if I knew God, then would I know love? Or, if I embodied love, would I fully grasp what God is? We are always choosing between love and fear–that’s another trendy thought bandied about in spiritual circles these days. If it is really that simple, why do so many of us find the choice as challenging as climbing Mt Everest?
I said once that my feeling body is as big as the Grand Canyon…and I want to take that back. I want to say, unequivocally, my feeling body is an endless sea. My ocean of emotion has no shores. I used to swim it with the goal in mind of respite. I thought I would eventually reach some magical shore where all my feelings gently soaked into soft, gentle sand, leaving me with an even sense of contented satisfaction. That’s the beach that called my desire and powered my unending strokes through vast seas.
For many, many years I believed I could aim myself toward that shore with the conviction of my mind and will and make it so. And I tried. But the shoreline remained out of reach. Then, another current caught me and I came to believe that, instead of attempting to will the creation of my desire, I would learn to swim the ocean of my emotions by responding to events and circumstances of life with love. Rather than looking for an end–a happily ever after–I would embody and embrace my emotion of choice. Love. Plain and simple…one vast emotion that buoyed me through the waves. An elegant and effortless solution that transformed the experience without any desire for it to end. An endless sea of love. Continue reading “Ocean of Emotions – Awakening”