A common phrase, a point in time… a song title by Jackson Browne… The phrase, These Days, and the melody of Jackson’s song play through my mind in the background of my day like a soft guidance to explore further… Explore what, I wonder? Listening to Jackson Browne’s lyrics, it is a sad song–a song of regret and loss… of lost opportunities and loves. A very sad song… and… a theme that also played in my mind over these past eight years of living through and healing a failing liver. I understand this sad song. And yet, why would my inner guidance system suggest I reflect on these painful feelings that I have endeavored so wholeheartedly to let go from my suffering mind? I have an answer now, and I’d like to share it with you, Friend…
A song about reflection that focuses on a painful past… I like to call that “ruminating.” With an autistic brain, ruminating is one of my strengths. With a nervous system that loops like a labyrinth through the brain, my capacity to “search deeply” into past experiences to better understand the pain and hurt I experienced there… well, I’m really, really good at that 😛 It took me quite a few years–and a late diagnosis of autism, however–to realize this pattern of thought was causing illness AND prohibiting recovery in the body. This practice and the ‘art of ruminating’ was actually making my body weaker and less likely that I could heal. Jackson Browne’s song reveals an opening for me to discover how ruminating can be used to build a new pattern, a new way of being in a new world, from the same premise of reflection. Let’s explore that…
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