Deep and quiet. That’s what I am. While the world around me shops and bakes and prepares to celebrate, I go deep and quiet. Solstice approaches, and I abide.
I am coming to an end. The “me” that you’ve known for as long as you’ve known me… is coming to an end. This isn’t the first time I’ve changed characters in a movie. Not the first time my orientation from one moment to the next blinked into a new paradigm and transformed my “being” in the world. I spent two years living on the streets of Chicago and Toronto as a teen and returned to society reshaped. I lived through death in a head-on car collision and found myself back in this world reconfigured. I’ve survived more than a few health crises…and been transformed through them
It is the first time, though, that I am doing it softly–consciously–as one in the awakening process who chooses to claim “awakened.”
I am stepping out of old roles like old clothes. Feeling the loss of each memory in every well-worn item, yet recognizing the need to let go. Indeed, it’s been a year-long purge of my closet–layer by layer, my most recent identity stripped away. If I am to walk naked for awhile, so be it.
The shift so many of us anticipated in 2013 is coming for me now. I feel it. It is only days or breaths away. And I go deep and quiet in preparation.
I found her in the closet. Wedged back into the corner, knees pulled against her chest, she hid her eyes behind small hands. Hoping, perhaps, that I would not see her if she could not see me. It was an old closet–dusty and filled with long forgotten things stored for long forgotten reasons.
There she was.
I clambered over and around boxes to get to her. I squeezed into the small space beside her and gathered her into my arms, holding her head close to my beating heart. “I found you,” I whispered.
“I think my heart is broken,” she mumbled into my sweater, “It hurts.”
I rocked her gently. “It’s ok,” I soothed, “I found you. I’m here. It’s ok.”
For a timeless long time, we sat together rocking. Then, she turned her big, sad eyes to mine, “Am I safe now?”
And I answered, “We’ll stay here–together–until you know you are.”
It’s a natural impulse to share what we learn. The inspired excitement of a new insight expands to connect–to reach out and teach. Like the effervescence of boiling water, new understanding bubbles and rises and pops and transforms. If we could see the energy that comes through us in the moment of a new realization, I believe we would see the shifts like steam rising from the roiling water, mingling with the steam of each other’s new awareness.
If we could see this, would it impact how we communicate? Would we be less focused on the sharing of our own wisdom and more interested in absorbing the wisdom of those around us? Would our focus shift more to experiencing the resonance between our insights and less on the wisdom of our personal insight? Continue reading “Teach By Example–Awakening”
Today is the seventh day since the spiritual surgery I experienced last Wednesday. It has been a profoundly deep week into the exploration of healing for me. For the first time in all of the spiritual surgeries I’ve undergone, I felt “post-surgical.” I was reminded of the days right after spinal surgery when my one goal was to be able to get up and walk the halls of the hospital. I was not as weak this week as I was right after the spinal surgery, but I did ask Alan to wheel me in the wheel chair often, walking for very short periods then resting when I felt my vitality deflate.
We are well into Saturday afternoon here in Abadiania, Brazil, and enjoying the quiet laughter and inspiring music at Frutti’s. Many have left town for parts unknown, and those of us gathered are relaxing into the meandering weekend rhythm. Freshly juiced carrots with ginger and guacamole for my lunch–supporting the healing currents of the Casa de Dom Inacio on all levels 😉
Of course, we began our day at the Casa to make prayers for ourselves and friends. Then, we meditated while partaking of the crystal beds. Even though John of God has a few days now to rest and rejuvenate in his personal surroundings, the entities are still very much present on the Casa de Dom Inacio grounds. The current is strong, and the vibration of healing and transformation potent amidst the vibrant nature of the garden. Continue reading “Tips to Enhance the John of God Experience”
I went before John of God this morning, request in hand. Trusting the entities to still be working with the requests I made for my physical health on Wednesday (and the resulting spiritual surgery), today I made a different type of request:
Please infuse my personality with Love’s light and my Soul’s purpose.
Again, the Casa volunteers invited anyone who was assigned the second time or revision line to join the spiritual surgery group if they desired. Again, I chose to wait and go before the entity. Understanding more fully this morning how the entities are using the front waiting and meeting hall to begin their “work, ” I was intentionally silent and maintained a meditative state until my line was called. I felt the entity’s touch in my being, confirming the connection had begun and movement through the current rooms was even more uplifting and palpably vibratory as a result. Continue reading “Friday in Frutti’s–John of God”
I underwent my first spiritual surgery of this trip yesterday afternoon. One would think (Well, at least I would) that I could expect a certain pattern to the spiritual surgeries after ten of them. It wasn’t a surprise when the Casa volunteer invited people from the 2nd time line to volunteer for a spiritual surgery. Certainly, we’ve seen that happen a few times before this. Alan and I considered and decided that, since it was our first day back to see John of God after a year’s absence, we wanted to go before Medium Joao and the entity to received a more specific direction. What was unusual for me was that–right after we opted to wait–I felt the presence of an entity touch my mind.
“What does that feel like?” you may wonder. It feels like love. Conscious and aware and gentle like a soft breeze. Some say they can tell which entity is which and know who is engaging them. Not me. I don’t mind, though. Love is love is love, right?
I felt the touch, and I heard, “Would you like my support? I can help you.”
“Yes!” My response was immediate and whole-hearted.
Write your epitaph now – it’s how you will be remembered.
Think about it. When asked what mantra shapes our lives most of us will pick a pithy phrase that depicts our conscious perception of who we aim to be. “It’s all good.” “Let go and let God.” “One day at a time.” “I have faith.” “Where there is a will, there is a way.” “Love is the answer.” I could list a page of them and wouldn’t even scratch the surface – I didn’t come near the breadth and scope of possible attitudes toward which most of us aspire.
Truth be told, though, it isn’t the conscious mantra that shapes us. It is the habitual practice of thoughts and feeling that run like a river through our minds in response to the circumstances and events of our lives that makes a lasting imprint on how we evolve. I wish I could say my response to Life was always optimistic. I wish I could say I didn’t get irritated or anxious or dwell on situations and relationships that evoke irritation or anxiety. I wish the feelings and thoughts that shaped the weft and weave of who I am would always match the mantra toward which I aim. I can’t. But I can say that it is always my choice which color thread I use to thread the needle. Continue reading “Threading The Mantra Needle – Awakening the Avatar”
When you look across a field to a stand of trees, do you see a shimmer in the air around their edges? When you touch a living thing, do you feel a tingle in the space between where your ‘skins’ meet? When you are listening to music, does the sound move through your body in a way that makes your body move? This is the law of resonance in action. The law of resonance says that all vibration includes the quality of evoking response.
But, wait…let’s go back. Back to where it begins: vibrating.
For all of my childhood, and much of my adulthood, I believed my body and “me” were one and the same thing. My self esteem relied heavily on the feedback I got from people around me about how attractive I looked. My feelings of success depended upon what I could “do” through the actions of my body. I engaged with everyone I met as discrete units, separated from me by the fact that we had different bodies. And, in turn, I judged the value of others by how I perceived their bodies.