Who is AhnyaLi? What is AhnyaLi? Perhaps, the reading of this will give us a glimpse…
I’m realizing AhnyaLi’s emergence has been in process since a transcendent experience at Casa Dom Inacio in the summer, 2017. (Some of y’all may remember, and—if you want your memory refreshed, post it in the comments ; >) It’s been a journey and continues to be with this particular piece–incoming AhnyaLi–beginning at the end of April, 2021, in a kundalini breath and meditation workshop. Following the guidance of the teacher, I breathed a balloon of felt pressure into each cervical vertebra while rolling the neck from chin resting on chest to upright…and then tipping the nose upward with an isometric contraction against all of the “air pressure” breathed into the vertebrae. In the full contraction pose (nose tilted up as high as possible,) I experienced an intense pain at the occiput and a blinding light that lasted less than a minute. Followed by dizziness and some nausea. Feeling the neck afterward, the tissue was swollen and inflamed. But, even more importantly—and, imho, a small miracle–the natural curve of the cervical vertebrae reasserted itself… a curve missing since the TBI during a head-on car collision in in 1983. I celebrated the return of an opening flow in the channel… not fully realizing the extent of what that meant…
Here I am! Been out in the wilderness finding my way back to Life for five months now. Many indigenous cultures send their people out into the wild to survive or die as a spiritual practice. The win, if they survive, is often a shift into a more expanded consciousness. My tribe–composed of many multi-dimensional and elemental forms of life like dragons and faeries–follows the same practice, apparently…
The path into this wilderness quest was determined twenty five years ago in Egypt when I chose to drink the “local” water offered to me by our taxi driver. Water infected with a parasite called schistosoma mansoni. One might say, indeed, I actually walked out into the quest that day… and just didn’t recognize the path I chose until twenty five years later 😛 Continue reading “Waving From The Wilderness”
Did you know that every cell has 15,000 biochemical interactions every second? And, did you know that there are, on average, 38 billion cells in a human body? 38 billion cells, each processing 15,000 chemical interactions per second. That’s a lot of processes per second! And how does the body keep it all working effectively? Cannabinoids.
Yep. Every cell has cannabinoid receptors–both on the exterior and interior of the cell. The cannabinoids connect to the cell’s physiology via receptor sites and modulate the 15,000 biochemical interactions to make sure they are in harmony with each other and maintain the homeostasis of a healthy body and balanced (ie happy) mental and emotional attitude. In fact, the current hypothesis amongst scientists studying the Endocannabinoid System is that a deficiency of cannabinoids is the very first indicator of declining health. Eventually disease follows if not restored. Continue reading “The Role of Cannabinoids in Health and Happiness”
The discovery of the endocannabinoid system (ECS) in the late 1960’s was nothing short of revolutionary in the field of health and medicine. Purely by chance, the stories say, researchers discovered a subtle, signaling system within the body that maintains a “homogenous” state–or harmony–between all of the various biochemical actions in the body. Human bodies make endocannabinoids that click into receptor sites on and within every cell membrane, to “down-regulate” any bodily system’s activity and restore or maintain balance.
For example, the immune system is down-regulated by the endocannabinoid system to stop attacking its own tissues… as happens in the case of autoimmune conditions. Neurotransmitters that agitate and cause anxious feelings can be down-regulated to assist the mind to a calmer state. Over stimulated nerve centers–the source of pain and seizures–can be down-regulated to slow/stop the 0ver-firing and result in relief. These are just a few examples. The list covers every biochemical action in the body–that’s how pervasive the endocannabinoid system is. Continue reading “Assess The Health Of Your Endocannabinoid System”
How cool would that be? Infinite bliss–heaven on earth, right? All good things in all ways throughout all time. I know that’s what I thought I was aspiring toward thirty some years ago when I was first introduced to the idea that I could create the experiences I wanted by focusing my mind to think the “right” thoughts.
And I was diligent. Dedicated. I wrote affirmations daily. I studied and researched the new age thought movement with passion. I visualized. I practiced care with the words I chose to speak. I even wrote my graduate thesis on how perception influences experience. I was a bona fide expert on the topic…but it didn’t stop my car (with me in it) from being rear-ended on an icy freeway that resulted in a head-on collision with a concrete wall the same week I submitted that thesis. All of those affirmations and all of that research didn’t stop me from developing a head injury and type 1 diabetes because of that car crash.
Still, that accident didn’t change my belief that–if I could alter circumstances with the power of my mind–I could live in a state of well-being and happiness that would create changeless perfection. Rather, my beliefs led me down a path of thinking I must have created the accident. That’s the other side of the logic in believing that I can create heaven on earth with my thoughts. And the belief that I created bad things happening to me while I was trying to create good things…well, that belief led me through years of attempting to figure out how to align myself with all good things even as I lived with sucky things (aka type 1 diabetes) and felt powerless to change them (aka type 1 diabetes.) Continue reading “Changeless Perfection–How Life Works”
Let’s talk science for a moment. Proven fact: every emotion solicits hormones and neurotransmitters to evoke a host of chemical actions. The blood fills with these “chemical feelings” and every cell in the body “reads” the chemical message to determine their course of action.
Of course, the cells cannot extrapolate one kind of fear from another. The chemicals don’t tell them whether a predatory animal is attacking or whether there isn’t enough money in the bank to cover the mortgage payment. The message is the same. On the level of biochemical interaction, so is the response in the body.
And it’s a good response. It’s kept our species alive through the ages. It’s an appropriate response to a life-threatening situation. However, when anxiety/fear becomes an emotional norm–when angst of one form or another is the steady stream of chemicals flowing through our blood to direct cellular activity–then our bodies never get the opportunity to restore and regenerate. Never feel safe to take care of their needs. Inevitably, dis-ease results. Continue reading “Loving Our Bodies Means Feeling Safe”
Deep and quiet. That’s what I am. While the world around me shops and bakes and prepares to celebrate, I go deep and quiet. Solstice approaches, and I abide.
I am coming to an end. The “me” that you’ve known for as long as you’ve known me… is coming to an end. This isn’t the first time I’ve changed characters in a movie. Not the first time my orientation from one moment to the next blinked into a new paradigm and transformed my “being” in the world. I spent two years living on the streets of Chicago and Toronto as a teen and returned to society reshaped. I lived through death in a head-on car collision and found myself back in this world reconfigured. I’ve survived more than a few health crises…and been transformed through them
It is the first time, though, that I am doing it softly–consciously–as one in the awakening process who chooses to claim “awakened.”
I am stepping out of old roles like old clothes. Feeling the loss of each memory in every well-worn item, yet recognizing the need to let go. Indeed, it’s been a year-long purge of my closet–layer by layer, my most recent identity stripped away. If I am to walk naked for awhile, so be it.
The shift so many of us anticipated in 2013 is coming for me now. I feel it. It is only days or breaths away. And I go deep and quiet in preparation.
I found her in the closet. Wedged back into the corner, knees pulled against her chest, she hid her eyes behind small hands. Hoping, perhaps, that I would not see her if she could not see me. It was an old closet–dusty and filled with long forgotten things stored for long forgotten reasons.
There she was.
I clambered over and around boxes to get to her. I squeezed into the small space beside her and gathered her into my arms, holding her head close to my beating heart. “I found you,” I whispered.
“I think my heart is broken,” she mumbled into my sweater, “It hurts.”
I rocked her gently. “It’s ok,” I soothed, “I found you. I’m here. It’s ok.”
For a timeless long time, we sat together rocking. Then, she turned her big, sad eyes to mine, “Am I safe now?”
And I answered, “We’ll stay here–together–until you know you are.”
I said once that my feeling body is as big as the Grand Canyon…and I want to take that back. I want to say, unequivocally, my feeling body is an endless sea. My ocean of emotion has no shores. I used to swim it with the goal in mind of respite. I thought I would eventually reach some magical shore where all my feelings gently soaked into soft, gentle sand, leaving me with an even sense of contented satisfaction. That’s the beach that called my desire and powered my unending strokes through vast seas.
For many, many years I believed I could aim myself toward that shore with the conviction of my mind and will and make it so. And I tried. But the shoreline remained out of reach. Then, another current caught me and I came to believe that, instead of attempting to will the creation of my desire, I would learn to swim the ocean of my emotions by responding to events and circumstances of life with love. Rather than looking for an end–a happily ever after–I would embody and embrace my emotion of choice. Love. Plain and simple…one vast emotion that buoyed me through the waves. An elegant and effortless solution that transformed the experience without any desire for it to end. An endless sea of love. Continue reading “Ocean of Emotions – Awakening”
We humans continually explore the concept of leadership–how to lead effectively, how to lead creatively, how to lead…period. Parents call it parenting. Managers call it managing. Politicians call it governing. Call it what you will, leadership runs through our culture and society like a necessary part of the infra-structure we call Life.
In our exploration of the leadership dynamic, we can look to nature as well. The organization of ants and bees have clearly defined roles…who defines those roles? That entity would, by definition, be the leader, right? Dogs establish hierarchies determined by who is the alpha in the pack, and that clarity is demonstrated by behaviors that mark the alpha dog as “preferred” in all circumstance–a role many leaders in the human world also claim. The interactions among horses is often about who is the leader right now…they jockey with body language for the coveted position of controlling the herd with a flick of their ears or a strategic placement of body. With horses, the leader is the one who moves everyone else without moving themselves. They lead from behind.
Whether we are leaders who forge ahead blazing a trail that others follow (because it’s easier than clearing a new trail, oftentimes) or whether we lead by strength of will and an inclination toward strong opinion, in every interaction there is a component of leading–or being led–in the relationship dynamic, I think. All of us have our own leading–and being led–style, and the operative question is: how well is it working in creating the satisfaction and fulfillment we desire? Continue reading “Leading Through Resonance–Creative Leadership”