I ask myself on a regular basis. Sometimes, the answer seems very concrete–actionable, if you will. And, sometimes, it is etheric–seemingly abstract and intangible in the day-to-day of living. I asked myself again today.
I am recently returned from Abadiania, Brazil where I spent the week with John of God. Undergoing a spiritual surgery, I am in the middle of the forty day integration period. As my guide from this trip, Vinicius Turki (see Trips To John of God) reminded me, the “work” is done after the spiritual intervention–during this forty day cycle where my choices determine how much of the entity’s transmission is able to integrate into my being.
Vinicius was adept in helping me sort through the superficial and delve more deeply into the emotional spiritual essence of my requests for John of God. The result: a more conscious connection between the surfacing emotions I am experiencing during this forty day cycle and their relevance to the spiritual intervention. To put it more concretely, Vinicius helped draw the correlation between the chronic pain of damaged nerve tissue (from fractured vertebrae) to the psychic pain I still carry as a result of traumatic experiences. He helped me acknowledge the autoimmune conditions of type 1 diabetes and hashimoto’s thyroiditis are a metaphor for the emotional pain associated to “living under attack.” A perceptual experience–again, anchored in traumatic experiences.
It wasn’t an easy conversation, but it was a valuable one… that gave me the insight during this post intervention period to own the feelings, to feel the feelings… and understand the relationships between physical, emotional and psychic more deeply…
It’s easy to hide from ourselves. It’s easy to forget to remember that everything–including pain–is an opportunity to know ourselves better; to realize the obstruction to well-being and vitality is within the choices we’ve made.
It was for me, anyway… until now. The entities opened me into my “hidden” self with love and showed me the pain I carry–helped me feel the pain I carry. Why did I think I had to hide it? Why did I think I was unlovable unless I was perfect? I don’t know. Ultimately, it doesn’t matter… it only mattered that I let love into the pain. And, in the realizing I could, I did. I made a different choice, a new choice.
New choices. That’s where the question: “what is my life’s mission?” leads to a different answer than I got before my most recent experience with John of God. I used to say that my mission was to serve the Will to Good. And it’s still a true statement, albeit general and superficial relative to the increased awareness I feel now. Today, my life’s mission feels more relatable to my personal life experience: to transmute pain through love.
It’s a paradox, and–honestly–a mystery to me, still. And I recognize it as truth. So, I step into each moment willing. No longer attempting to hide my tender center, I stand willing to love. To be loved. To heal and be healed through love. I am willing.
What’s your life’s mission?
The adventure continues…
Thank you. I love you.