“On the brink”. I’ve used that phrase before to describe the experience of being so close to a manifestation I can smell and taste it. It’s a feeling of eagerness and anticipation that excites me to the core of my Being, and I continually find new desires to flow my focus towards so that I can feel it again and again. It’s like the feeling of planning an adventure, and beginning the plans for a new adventure on the plane ride home from the last one. That’s how I roll.
Sometimes, I realize I’m juggling so many eager anticipations that I start to feel a little overwhelmed or anxious that one may fall short. Sometimes, then, I can feel the eagerness waft across the line to impatience. Sometimes, I want to pull the fruit from the tree rather than let it fall into my hand to make sure I don’t miss it. I’ve watched myself on occasion get so focused on the result, I lost the delicious feeling of ‘faith’ that abides in ‘knowing’ anticipation.
It’s a teensy space – the point between where I am thrilled in a pervasive sense of WellBeing and where I am impatient, even anxious, in the waiting. And it’s a Magical Place. It’s the space where I remember I have a choice in where to focus, and- remembering- All I Am broadens and illuminates clarity: It’s the eager anticipation that calls me… not the result. It’s the knowing that all I desire is mine. It’s the understanding that feeling the fulfillment happens before the manifestation occurs.
And I laugh. I laugh for the joy in realizing there is no waiting for a feeling. The feeling comes as soon as I let it in. I feel eager. I rejoice in the wellbeing that permeates the feeling of eagerness. I delight in the realization that all is well right here right now. I am fulfilled in the creative process of living, and I am satisfied with how all my results bounce me into more eager anticipation.
I love you. Thank you.
Without love, love turns out to be boring.