Blew My Wig Back–Joe Dispenza retreat experience

unified field

This accounting is my personal truth. For me, the exploration into neuroscience, biochemistry, and quantum physics applied through meditation exercises led me into multidimensional territory and interdimensional encounters. Healing miracles. Some reading it, will find resonance in my experiences and revelations to enhances their own breadcrumb trails into these frontiers. Others will want more quantifiable evidence than a subjective accounting like mine before making the leap into belief. Either way, I hope all y’all enjoy the storytelling.

For the sake of brevity, I won’t go into long explanations of my ‘health journey.’ Some of you already follow along with my writings on the topic, and–for those of you who don’t and have questions–please feel free to post in the comments. I will do my best to clarify. The first part of this telling will be more like cliff notes than an in depth summary (Again, feel free to ask for clarification in the comments if you more to connect the dots.) In the second half–the part that includes my coherence healing–I will offer a deeper dive and an occasional ‘sidebar’ note to add context. If you want to stay just within the telling of the experience, you can skip the sidebars ; >)

OK, here we go….


This was our first event with Dr. Joe Dispenza. We had a broad brushstroke idea of what we were in for–lots of meditation–but were quickly immersed in a system that shook us right out of our comfort zone. On purpose.

The first two full days started early–6:00am–and went until 7-7:30pm. Dr Joe’s teaching format uses a tried and true method of starting with a lecture and having participants discuss sections of the lecture before moving to the next section. Articulation of a concept is a form of integration… see how that is? After repeating the lecture/articulate learning process several times, we would do an experiential meditation exercise to apply the concepts we’d just learned. I studied this ‘stacking’ technique for learning back in the days when I was getting a graduate degree that combined Systems Design and Jungian psychology–my focus was creativity in learning. Dr Joe did a great job, in my humble opinion, with this particular learning technology. We were learning at a very fast pace, and my wig was blown back multiple times as he combined neuroscience, biochemistry, and quantum physics to extrapolate into (new for me) concepts.

As proof of how effective this system was by the end of the first full day, I was eating. It’s been almost 2 years since my digestive tract put out the closed for business sign, and–in one long day of learning and meditating, I was eating a broad spectrum of foods and fully enjoying and processing it. For me–a full on miracle. It’s an example of the biological upgrades his system intends to facilitate.

On the second full day, we began the learning and practice of reprogramming our belief circuitry by gazing into a fractal kaleidoscope and entraining our brains into the theta brain frequency. We alternated between this and gazing at the slideshow of inspiring images and affirmations we created in mind movies. And then, finally, going into a meditative state and using the techniques we learned to lift our ability to access faster frequencies and apply the newly reprogrammed patterns into the circuitry of our being.

Periodically, Dr. Joe would remind us that we were required to overcome our habitual patterns of thinking and feeling and behaving in order to apply his teachings in the accomplishment of vibrating in resonance with faster frequencies of light. By the end of the second day, Alan and I understood just what he was saying to us. We were tired and grumpy and starting to devolve in our attitude. Fortunately for us, Dr. Joe said it often enough–in enough different ways–that we were able to recognize what was happening and shift into a gentler state with ourselves.

We discerned that it was up to us to modulate our energy better–identifying where we got caught in thinking patterns and interactions that depleted our batteries rather than charging them… and, thus we entered day 4 with a clarified intention.Day 4 was our first walking meditation on the beach. We alternated between standing and practicing the techniques we’d learned and walking to Joe’s voice meshing with inspirational music. The result, for me, was transcendent…. and I actually discovered another battery, sourcing from a faster moving frequency, that lifted me out of the fatigue of long days and a fragile health state in the body. Day 4 was also the day I received the news that I had been chosen for a Coherence Healing (much more about that later ; >) on Day 5. I was finding it quite easy to hang in feeling blessed and grateful on day 4.

We continued learning and practicing with the kaleidoscope and mind movies. By the end of the day–when we did our final meditation–I could ‘feel’ the imagery from the mind movie integrating through my being in what felt very organic. As we concluded with blessing the energy centers, I was aware of more energy in each center, and each center offered me a beautiful mandala pattern as the inspiring images from the mind movie settled into their preferred center. I felt very complete and whole by the end of day 4.

We began day 5 with another sunrise walking meditation and moved into learning about coherence healings. Here’s a very simple explanation of the intent… for healers, the intention is to bring the level of awareness into faster frequencies of light (the faster the frequency, the more closely aligned to Oneness with Divinity.) Then, when the energy of individuals is in a clear and refined state, they join into a group and join into a group energy that is synergistically amplified and ‘send’ that amplified, refined energy into the being of the healee…for the healee, the intention is to identify and release the patterns of behavior and belief that inevitably manifest as illness (unique for each individual) and open to receive the higher frequencies of light, allowing a return to health and balance in the body. We practiced together until mid afternoon and then broke into two groups to prepare for our specific roles, healer and healee.


SIDEBAR: A foundational practice through all of Dr Joe’s teachings is to find and unfold into the unified field aka “the blackness” as he calls it. To give you a sense of what this experience feels like, I offer up the two experiences I’ve had with the unified field prior to study of the Dispenza system…The first is a description of what I experienced as a result of a high speed/head-on car accident in 1983:

I “died” once. I recall watching in slow motion as my car sped towards the freeway wall and then…. I floated, like a feather in the breeze. I felt relief, like I’d just removed a shoe that was too tight, and I drifted, as though a gentle current held me lightly in its buoyant caress. I saw millions of lights, like fireflies, dancing on what seemed like a night sky. The voices sang a harmony that made one Voice, and the Voice soothed and comforted and reassured. I abided in peace and bliss for a timeless moment (or just under one minute if you count the seconds when the medics couldn’t find any vital signs). source:

The second came soon after I was diagnosed with liver failure in late 1991. I turned to meditation/guidance for healing and was guided to Pele on the Big Island of Hawai’i. Using shamanic drumming, I went into trance and had this vision:

I dreamed I was eaten by a dragon.

In the dream, I felt no fear – no trepidation of jagged teeth or painful death. Only curiosity. The dragon was HUGE, her head the size of a small house, her body could have been an apartment complex. When she lowered her snout to the ground and opened her maw wide, I felt the heat and smelled the Sulphur exuding with her breath.

It was a dream, though, and I was only more curious. I stepped tentatively into the cavern that was her mouth. I felt the soft give of her tongue under my feet… and watched myself dissolve — body vaporized into billions of tiny fragments. Still conscious, yet nowhere could I find me.Dreaming. Dreaming in a deep, dark landscape filled with sparkling lights, I felt the beating heart of the dragon pulsing me through her body. I sensed an immense mind – like a sky with no end – and touched it, joining in the dream with a vast intelligence that stretched my awareness to new perspectives I would never have considered within the mind of my own species. Perspectives I could barely comprehend. Perspectives that turned me inside out of the nowhere I could find me.

Timeless in a dream that may have been a brief moment or eternal forever, consciousness released the “I” as all the particles of what was “me” flowed into ‘we-ness’ with her…Until she pooped me out.

She pooped me out. I was dreaming, right? And there “I” stood again. No longer the “me” who had been consumed – I was newly configured; somehow reshaped and blended anew with traces of Dragon vibrating through my being. Transformed into dragon poop.I dreamed.And now, I wonder… what is dreaming? And…when am I awake? Is this Awakening? source:


All healees moved into a room for a preparatory meditation. We were asked to identify what personality habit/self-sabotaging behavior we intended to dissolve and be ‘done with.’ Immediately, I heard in my mind: relationship angst. Then we were asked to intend with conviction how we would replace what was being let go. I heard in my mind: relationships that are synergistically enhancing for everyone involved. And I chose it with conviction. We spent some time then in the unified field noticing frequencies that resonated with the new intention. Dr Joe reminded us to find frequencies of worthiness to receive as well..And then we were moved to outside the healing room where the healers were being led in a meditation to lift their frequency in preparation.

I could hear the meditation so I joined in and was dropped into this vision:

Before me are my two children. They are a compilation of both their energies as 40-something adults and their energies as the children who called me “mom.” I kissed each of them on the forehead and looked into their eyes–one then the other, transmitting love and said, “I hold you dear in my heart. I wish for you the fulfillment of all you desire. The time has come for me to begin the journey of wishing fulfillment for myself as well. I am on my own mission now. My door will always be open to you if ever you want to experience me as I Am becoming.”

The doors opened, and I was led to the center of a group of 8 healers. I laid down, and all of them sat around me. The meditation continued as we joined all of our energies together. I felt my being full of light and movement. At a certain point, the healers found the energy between their hands and moved their hands to around my field. I felt the energy surge and moved into another trance state:

All of this happened in a timeless state… a perpetual NOW if you will. All of my energy centers lit up and the beautiful mandalas they had become transformed into holographic spaces, each with story to tell me and blessing to offer. And, as the healing energies from the healers flowed into me, I felt the ‘human dross’ of each center dissolve and fall away, amplifying the range and sparkle of each center’s holographic pattern. Perhaps, I will follow with another article sometime time to describe each center’s story if there is interest… for now, though, it is enough to say I felt clear and fresh and loved. In culmination, the consciousness of each center formed a circle around my heart–much like the healers–and birthed the most beautiful forest glen filled with magical beings and Brighid, queen of the fairies, brewing her healing and creative magic. I felt at home in my new heart.

And then…. I felt my physical heart lifted in my rib cage and dropped–I felt the ‘plunk.’ For a split second, there was no beat…. and then the beat started up again with a definitively different rhythm. I was concerned, given I’d experienced a myocardial infarction just three weeks before and asked, “Is this ok?” A voice responded, “Yes. Your heart is now beating to the natural and normal rhythm for you.”

Continuing through the timeless moment, I experienced a pulsing in the four quadrants of my jaw where infected bone was diagnosed and thanked the Beings in assistance for their work there.

And then it was over…. or so I thought (foreshadowing :P)

We hugged each other, and I was amazed and delighted by how connected I felt with everyone and how ‘honed’ my telepathic skills were to feel the signatures of each person’s energy.

That was the end of day 5. I went back to the room to integrate and rest.

Day 6 began at 4am with a 5 hour meditation to activate the pineal gland. The meditation used every technique and protocol that Dr Joe taught us. Because of all the practicing we’d done, I was able to stay about 93% fully present through the entire meditation, and the results were amazing. I watched with my mind’s eye as the pineal gland lit up, first, like a sparkler on the 4th of July and then like an all the way lit up Christmas tree surrounded by spirit animals in support. The experience was profoundly mystical, and I felt my personality and body reorganizing to new frequencies.

I felt the “nudge” to go back to the room and integrate for a few hours, missing the coherence healing planned next and possibly the sunset walking meditation on the beach. I really wanted to do both of those activities and, so, I easily turned to interpreting the “nudge” as a voice I needed to overcome rather than the voice of guidance.

Healers do a walking meditation as part of the preparation, and I chose to get out of my wheelchair and walk as my future self. My muscles trembled, and my balance was a little skewed. But I stayed the course, and the healing experience as a healer is something I feel/see myself doing again and again.

The “nudge” was still there, and I ignored it again for the walking sunset meditation. Muscles trembled more, balance was more skewed…. I stopped about half way through and lay on the beach for the rest of meditation and went back to the room (in my wheelchair ; >) to be in bed by 7Pm. I hoped that would give me sufficient rest to participate in Day 7.

Day 7 began with another pineal activation meditation at 4AM. I was, again, present and engaged better than 95% during the sitting part of the meditation. When it was time to lay down, as soon as my head was down I on the pillow, I fell into an extreme headache. Frontal lobe, around ears, around eyes, jawbone, and nose. By extreme, I mean on scale of pain from 1–10, it was a 10+. On par with the headache after my head broke the windshield in the high speed/head on auto accident.

There was no way to ignore it like I do other bodily sensations during meditation. I could only go fully into it and hope I found the unified field by immersion into the pain. And it worked. I was fully engaged in it…. for about 3 hours until I felt the need to pee. Usually, I can manage that sensation easily through long meditations… the headache, though, was as much as I could hold and stay in the field. Needing to pee started becoming urgent. At about 4.5 hours into the meditation, I just had to go.

I didn’t want to disrupt Alan’s meditation so I figured I could walk by myself–without the wheelchair–to the bathroom and back…

I got up, walked about 10 steps….then, mysteriously felt something grabbing at my feet. I was walking down the center of the aisle way, and it had looked clear as I approached, but there I was–tripping. I had almost reclaimed my balance, when I felt a push to back of my left shoulder and heard a voice say, “You’re welcome.”

Time wasn’t linear anymore. Simultaneously to hearing the voice, my left knee took a hard hit and, when my left upper jaw hit the floor, my head bounced…. I felt my brain bounce just like my heart did in the coherence healing on day 5…. and the headache was gone. Totally. 100%

My knee, however, felt seriously injured and couldn’t hold my weight. Every cell in my body felt like they had all bounced as well. I felt shook up from the inside out–emotionally fragile and disoriented in all aspects. Two lovely women helped me get into my wheelchair and got me to the bathroom (I was determined, right?)

They brought me back to my seat and, as I settled into unified field frequencies, I immediately heard the voice:“We are working on your brain, central nervous system, and cranial bones. You need to stay still and rest while we do so. The knee injury serves this purpose as our gentler suggestions went unheeded. As well, the knee has been slightly dislocated since the automobile accident (I hit the underside of the dashboard on impact,) and that has created imbalance in your energy fields. It’s shaken loose now, and–if you keep it straight while healing–the body can unwind into an integrated stability.”

I got it this time. Alan and I went back to the room–where I rested–for the rest of the event. Alan did two coherence healings on my knee during that day, and we watched as the swelling came down and the discoloration of what looked like it would be a nasty bruise disappeared.


Turns out those quiet nudges I was hearing were guidance and that the healing I experienced needed more time to marinate than the structure of the workshop created. So my next level of learning has to involve discerning guidance from mind chatter, right? It was too easy to fall into feeling a group pressure to keep at it, and—while I knew intellectually that my own inner guidance system has to over ride all else, I see I have some room for improvement there… Still, I abide in an overwhelming gratitude for the Entities, Light Beings, Angels (whatever works for you to call them ; >) who are committed to helping me become All I Am. I vow to be more attentive to listening and discerning their voices offering gentle suggestions.

We are reorienting our day to day here at Laughing Place Farm. Practicing coherence healings every evening before bed rather than watching TV, getting up earlier to meditate each morning, and looking for opportunities during the day to practice aligning into and blessing our energy centers.

The frequency upgrades we experienced as energy shifts during the retreat now require a daily practice of choosing wisely to integrate fully into the personality. Will we attend another weeklong advanced meditation retreat practicing the Dispenza system? You betcha… after we are stable and integrated in the future self we activated 😀

Thank you. I love you.

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8 Replies to “Blew My Wig Back–Joe Dispenza retreat experience”

  1. Wonderful Ahnalira! Really really happy for you. Loving that you are marinating & playing with discerning guidance from mind chatter. Honouring your awareness that your own inner guidance system over rides all else. Love how you allowed/created the two women who helped you with your basic self as you were looking after your higher self. All of our selves respond to loving care. Overwhelming gratitude is a wonderful place to live. Big Hugs……SUE

  2. Love this powerful account Ahnalira, WOW! It is awesome to hear how much positive energy in the room contributed to your healing shifts, and grateful to be a part of it and then get to know you there!

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