Recently, when asked by a friend why a particular relationship ended, I answered, “They were making their own movie, and I was making mine. At a certain point, it just became really clear that the role in which I was cast in their movie was out of alignment with the roles I play in my own.”
And that got me thinking.
We really are the stars of our own movies. We are the main character that drives the story. And as we engage the world around us, we are directors, writers, and casters of other players and their roles. We film the movie as we interpret the events and relationships and situations in which we find ourselves.
For a minute, my mind was boggled as I attempted to stretch this idea across the expanse of my experience. The first part – it’s all happening in “my” head – is easy for me to embrace. Every situation and circumstance in which I find myself is interpreted through the filter of my beliefs and values. All of the components that make up who I am as a personality reflect back to me from the world around me. This I understand as the fundamental basis of being personally responsible for all I experience. It’s when I attempt to expand my understanding to imagine what that means as all of us – writing, casting, and directing our own movies – engage with each other as players in our own “creative project” at the same time others are casting us in their productions.
So many variables to consider! I, for example, write inspiring and/or magical scripts; I comprise roles that are wise and witty and creatively inspired. My partner always writes comedies; his roles often include a humorous wizard/hero who saves the day with his technical genius. Fortunately for us, comedies can be quite inspiring – witty and funny go well together. And wisdom always benefits from a action-taking hero. Our individual movies blend well.
What do we do, though, in situations where one person is living a comedy and the other person’s movie is a political thriller? How do we communicate effectively when we have cast ourselves in our movie as the trustworthy friend while the person with whom we are engaged has cast us as the potential adversary in their screenplay? What is really happening in these experiences where there doesn’t seem to be a shared reality of events?
These are the questions that intrigue me. If we are all the stars of our own movies – and that’s how Life works – then how do we discern the value in another person’s viewpoint of who we are in their movie?
I pondered, and my understanding evolved to this: the emotions I feel are the telling key as to whether someone’s perception of me is a reflection back to me of something within my own psyche or I am simply miscast in their production. In other words, any emotional reaction – from fear to joy (and everything in between) – shows me a reflection of myself and the beliefs I hold. The stronger the emotional reaction I have, the more likely the reflection of me to me is hidden from my conscious awareness of how I engage – subconscious, if you will. In these situations, the law of attraction calls to me people whose movies are a match to my inner world whether I am consciously aware of it or not.
It is only in the state of a non-reactivity, when the field is clear (see Could Ho oponopono and Law of Attraction Be This Simple?) that it is possible to discern a misalignment of movies. It’s possible – indeed probable – that each person’s inner movie was a match initially. It’s an inherent quality of the law of attraction that the relationships we call into our lives reflect back to us our inner world. However, it’s relevant to remember that we are essentially, at the core of our being, vibration, and vibration is mutable. Changeable. Indeed, to evolve and expand we want to it be so.
In the moment when we can accurately assess that our personal vibration has shifted, that’s the moment to disengage from the pattern of someone else’s movie that would call us back into a repetition of a no longer relevant plot dynamic or character.
We are all the stars in our own movie. How cool is that?! The fame, the fortune. The bigger than Life life. We already have it within the inner productions of our own minds. Pick your genre. Cast your players. Give yourself the role you’ve always wanted to play. Trust the law of attraction to bring your supporting cast into the production for you, and write the script as the story unfolds. Just remember: Everyone is doing this, and if you want the supporting roles that engage “The Star Within” as written in your mind, always be willing to claim responsibility for the roles you are attracting. That’s how Life works.
Thank you. I love you.
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Sometimes I like to think that I take parts in other people’s movies because, like Tom Hanks, I like to stretch a bit. I’m always cast as “X”; let’s see if I can be “Y”.
However, you’re right about following the feeling. I’ve been just as fulfilled in supporting roles as I’ve been in my own feature films. But when that supporting role begins to turn the footlights low on my own life, that’s the time to trash the script and find another one.
I agree, Andrea…I find supporting roles in other peoples’ movies to be a great way to both find out more about myself and to evolve aspects of myself that I haven’t accessed much.