It’s been nine months since our last trip to Abadiania, Brazil. A full gestation period. As those who have been following my journey with John of God know–six visits I in the course of three years–our last trip was accentuated by a direct communion with one of the entities who works through Medium Joao, Dr. Augusto. (see: John of God Reflections) His final instruction to me before leaving Abadiania was to get myself a full physical workup with lab work upon returning home.
And I did, discovering I was on the verge of a Myxedema Coma–a life threatening condition caused by severe hypothyroidism aka my thyroid had died two years previously during an emergency surgery. (see: Still Alive and Kicking) Instead of “curing” me, Dr. Augusto set me on a path of healing far more holographic than a simple physical cure…though, at the time, I didn’t understand that.
I didn’t realize that to heal, rather than be cured, I would face not only physical mortality, but also the death of friendships, and the death of many beliefs regarding relationships. I lost, for awhile, my sense of who I am in the world. My bearings were stripped away until even my ability to walk was a huge question mark as I was rushed into emergency surgery to have a hematoma and blood clot removed from my spinal cord.
I’ve written a lot about surrender in the past few years since I began this journey with John of God. I understood at a whole new level as I spoke with the neurosurgeon who explained to me that they didn’t know how it happened, and they weren’t sure they could fix it or prevent it from happening again. Then he asked if I understood, and my reply was, “I will just have to trust you.” In that moment, not knowing if I would walk again or even survive a second surgery in five days, I knew surrender.
I did wake up from surgery, and I could walk. I was reborn. That was July 25th, 2014.
Everything that mattered to me before that surgery died. Past history with people–oh, I still recall it, but it doesn’t matter to me anymore. Past history, period, really doesn’t have much–if any–impact on me. I am newborn, and the slate is fresh and clean. And like a newborn, who I am becoming is only in broad brush strokes as I write. I know I am an artist. I know I value peace and love. I know my feelings matter, and I want to abide with people who value kindness and peace and love as much as I do. I know I am bound to Nature and Nature nourishes my connection to Life. I know my life is a service to the awakening Earth.
With this knowledge, I prepare for our seventh pilgrimage to John of God in faith that the experience will, again, bring me the next step in becoming All I Am. I am ready and willing.