There are words spoken in anger, and meant only to express distress, that can never be erased. They were said; and, reaching their target, linger long after the outburst. There are actions taken – to get even – that create more animosity rather than settling any score. There are the choices made that cause pain to others. There are those of us bearing the scars of someone else’s choices that cause us to speak and act in hurtful ways.
The list is endless, and the cycle can repeat forever.
For many years, I sat in a rocker and listened to individuals and couples and families describe past pains and the way they felt stuck in the repetitiion of hurting. I listened, and I watched as these patterns became the defining points of their personalities and character. Over time, I realized that the clients who spent the most time reliving and thinking about the harm done them in the past took the longest to find solutions in their present circumstance. And the people less inclined to delve and analyze were the easiest to help focus into the changes they desired.
They embody my mother’s early teaching: “What’s done is done.”
And so, the question becomes: How do we make peace with what was done? Whether we were the cause or the effect of hurt, how do we clear the slate and start fresh in a dynamic that enhances love and wellbeing? How do we forgive?
How are we forgiven?
This, my friends, is the million dollar question. We are forgiven in our ability to forgive. We can let ourselves off the hook by releasing others from our judgments. When we realize the person who hurt us with their angry outburst is no different than we are when we feel angry, then we open a way to let understanding bring forgiveness and love to bear.
Where ever we remember love, peace is made. In this moment, all insanity evaporates. For what is insanity but the absence of remembering we are all connected through love?
Standing in the connection all Life shares, we are love; and the future is a fresh slate. Ready to be shaped with words and choices that spring from the desire to deepen the connection that comes from loving and appreciating love. Loving Self, first and foremost.. this may mean leaving a relationship or personality aspect behind in order to embrace fully loving Self. Always from the loving now.
What’s done is done. Now is the moment when love is real and every choice is an opportunity.
Thank you. I love you.